I usually try to start on these Thursday posts on Monday, if only to get the topic started. Then I have a couple of days to let it stew in my mind and get something solid written by Wednesday evening. And before I publish on Thursday, I can have another quick proofread and fix up any little things.

Well, it’s already Thursday. I’m pretty sure Monday I had something I was going to write (and didn’t) and now I have no idea. I’m pretty sure I was going to write something positive, given that the last long while has been a pretty crappy time in my life, and I’d rather not bore you and bring you down with my negativity.

It may have had to do with the catharsis of writing and getting my frustrations out into the world, so they’re not stuck in my mind and roiling forever. I’ve actually been keeping a journal and thought that writing down all the crap that goes through my mind would get it out of me, but it just keeps me thinking about it. So I’ve tried to move on to positive things, The plans I have to get my life to where I want it to be, and the progress I’m making towards those goals. I may make comments in it about parts of the plans that fail or that I have to change, but there are lessons and progress in failure.

Or maybe it was going to be about the great friends and support I’ve taken advantage of over the last few weeks and months. I love the great motivational posts my friends and family regularly post on Facebook and Instagram. Not that they’re doing it for me, but this is what they do and it’s great. Some of my friends and family have been through counselling for the very same reasons I have and I would never have known if I hadn’t chosen to talk about it. I’m definitely embarrassed talking about my feelings, even with my friends and family, but I’ve really had to get over that and be more open.

Or maybe it was about how I’ve gotten into, or back into, things that make me happy and positive. I’ve started doing yoga regularly, and could even do it more regularly, and I feel absolutely fantastic afterwards. It’s a solid hour of focusing internally and looking into myself, while pushing my physical limits a bit. While it hasn’t been easy, I’m still planning to get back into bagpiping. I’m trying to be more social and get out to more things. And I’m trying to be involved in community things, namely the Saskatoon CarShare Cooperative. I’m also reading a lot more and focusing more on the story, rather than plowing through the book as a time-filler.

Oh, wait. now I remember. It was going to be about getting and staying positive even through crappy times. It was going to be about finding things of my own that make me positive, and focusing on those things through crappy times. It was going to be about not dwelling on negative things and learning the positive lessons from the crappy times. But what was I going to say?